10 Reasons: Kevin Garnett Pounds the Hell out of Himself

I'm sure you've all noticed that Kevin Garnett continually pounds the hell out of his chest after a big play, momentum swing, or to just get his team jacked up and frankly, it’s obnoxious as hell. The chest pound usually includes puckered lips and his signature evil eyes which of course makes it that much more inescapable.

So as we watched him whack away during the NBA Finals with the potential to break a sternum, we asked ourselves solemnly, “Why KG? Why do continue to beat yourself in a way that makes Sasha Headbandcich seem less obnoxious? Why sir? Why must you give us a reason to start discrediting everything you've done in your illustrious career? Why must you make us talk like the annoying preacher kid from 'There Will Be Blood'?”

This is what we could come up with:

10. After spending 12 years with the T-Wolves he has to make sure his heart is still beating. Fortunately, it is!


9. He’s really excited that his goatee is slightly better than Paul Pierce’s.



8. He’s just reminding us of his starring role in the smash hit Super Mario Brothers.


7. Because it's the only way to get away with wearing these bad sweaters.


6. Because pulling your team’s name up from your jersey is even more obnoxious.


5. It's his way of saying, "Danny Ainge, you da man! Now let me choke you!"


4. Because he has to live up to hits like these.



3. He's making up for sideways visors and Stephon Marbury.


2. To play with that kind of passion and heart, he’s got to have a way to keep his heart from bursting out.



1. After 20,378 points, 11,197 rebounds, 4,390 assists, 1,665 blocks, 1,382 steals, 37,873 minutes, and 998 games…he has finally won that trophy.

Bullying the NBA's Big Man For Failing to Win the Big One

Posted written by the newest Le Basketbawl writer, Olivier Gibbons.

Newly minted NBA champion Kevin Garnett shrieked uncontrollably following his Celtics' clinching victory over the Lakers.

And with good reason. The 11-time All-Star who never previously played in the finals, is now crowned champion. And his face will soon adorn a special edition Wheaties Box honoring the Boston Celtics. Never mind the Big Ticket has appeared on two Wheaties boxes before, now he can truly take his place among The Breakfast of Champions.

"You're sort of, kind of shook, because you know what, you just knocked the bully out and you don't know how he's going to come back," a highly charged Garnett told reporters.

The career-long bully Garnett finally got off his back is winning the NBA Championship. It is the same bully that tormented NBA greats Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing, and Karl Malone right into retirement. Despite its best efforts to win, the trio of big men always fell a little short of a title, mostly due to the brilliance of Michael Jordan.

Fair or not, Garnett is now in a different class than his predecessors. Never again will he have to explain why he failed to win a championship. Those questions continue to dogg Barkley, Ewing and Malone.

Yet a closer look, reveals that, maybe, big men are unfairly signaled out for coming up small when it matters most. Consider the case of Malone, an MVP and part of that dynamic duo of John Stockton to Malone. If the latter is generally regarded as the best power forward to ever play, Stockton is one of the best point guards of all time. In fact, Stockton holds the record for most assists and steals in a career. But while Stockton is lauded for being an expert passer and tough little guy, Malone gets the label of playoff choker, who was undeserving of his MVP.

Want other examples of big men getting all the criticism compared with their brethren of smaller superstars? Take Ewing and Reggie Miller, whose teams engaged in legendary Eastern Conference battles. While Ewing brought much of the criticism onto himself by guaranteeing a title, when's the last time you heard anyone say "Reggie's a great player but he never won a championship."?

Miller hit as many clutch shots as almost anyone in NBA history. But if you're going to blame Ewing for not delivering the Knicks a championship, Miller's got to take some responsibility for not leading Indiana to the Promised Land.

And why does two-time MVP Steve Nash get a free pass for coming up short year after year? His teams are among the most talented in the league yet he's never even played in The Finals. Meanwhile, his former Dallas Mavericks teammate and buddy Dirk Nowitzki, who has at least played in The Finals since Nash signed with Phoenix, is gaining a reputation for playing soft and timid in the playoffs.

Allen Iverson, one of the best little men to play the game, is criticized for a lot of things but never for his inability to win a championship. Not that he ever had a good supporting cast as a 76er, but he now plays in Denver, alongside Carmelo Anthony and Marcus Camby. Though Iverson's been in the league for 12 seasons, he's escaped the brunt of criticism seemingly reserved for the NBA behemoths.

So while many observers commend Garnett for finally winning a title, the next time you hear about an NBA Big Man who can't win the big one, keep in mind he just might be playing with a future Hall of Fame point guard who isn't getting it done either.

"Michelle you look great tonight girl!"

I love Kevin Garnett but he officially scared the hell out of me tonight! Did you see Michelle Tafoya trying to interview him right after the buzzer sounded at half court? He went off on some crazy rant, looked at the camera with evil eyes, told Michelle she "looked great" and then screamed really loud in to the air. It was freakin' amazing! I just about hid under my blanket in fear while laughing hysterically.



And did you notice the tape delay on the game? ABC/ESPN clearly understood that KG has the filthiest mouth on the planet and also knew there would be way too many mics surrounding him. When the 3 stars for Boston went to the bench with 5+ minutes to go, the cameras kept panning over to the bench to get as many shot as possible of Ray, Paul and Kevin. Not such a good idea I would say.

The announcers would be in mid-sentence with the cameras on KG when the sound would just cut out for 10 seconds at a time and all you could see was Garnett's mouth running 100 MPH giving us some of the rowdiest lip-reading you could ask for.

Then the game ended and the 3 met at half court for another solid 10 second silent performance. It just kept happening and kept happening and I just kept laughing my ass off. Good work on the delay ESPN. Did I mention that KG scares me?

If anyone has video of this, I'd love to have it!

More adjustable in-ground basketball goals!

And thank you Alex of Basketball Notes by Alex (NBATipoff.com) for the video this morning!

Opinion Pic of the Day: Pride

Kevin Garnett, Clowned.

• Kevin Garnett is the first clown for all his antics from today's game against the Blazers.