Le Basketbawl

Indiana Pacers young gun Shawne Williams did not travel, play or practice with the team yesterday due to the fact that a murderer was hanging out at his house and driving a truck registered to him.

Gary Bohannon, 20, was arrested on a Tennessee warrant for murder Wednesday night after he had just left Williams’ house. Gary is so elite he even has a flashy nickname: Roosevelt Rollins!

Williams was stopped by police last year while hanging out with Bohannon. Police found a little stash of “the mary jane” in the car and of course, Roosevelt Rollins claimed it was his!

This was Williams after that law enforcement altercation: “Yeah, I have to cause you know, me being a professional ball player, I got to watch who I hang around. I need to surround myself with better people.”

Wow…that statement just says it all doesn’t it?

More info here.

I probably missed out on this last year when the composite ball was going through its reckoning, so for those of you who missed it the the first time around, enjoy.

Open Letter to NBA Players: From PETA

The NBA has me in that mid-season funk and I have no idea how I’m supposed to come out of it until playoff time. Since the greatness that was this year’s All-Star game I have found it difficult to sit down and watch an entire game or even pay close attention to the players on my ridiculously fabulous fantasy team. Poor me, what am I to do?

I could browse YouTube for some interesting new basketball footage:

• Hmm…this is the first one. Sad.
• Ok this one gave me a little laugh, haha.
• This was almost interesting and then Buddha started speaking.
• Winner!

Enough of that and I’m still funk-tified with the NBA. Let’s see, is there any current rumors that will interest me?

• ESPN.com has 4 articles linked to the Brent Barry decision. Here. Here. Here. Here.
• And we’re still talking about Sam Cassell?
• The evil Jerry Reinsdorf dismissing rumors that he created the “no headband rule.”
• Isiah Thomas hinting at Marbury possibly saying “bye bye” to the team. Is that really news?

Well that did nothing for me. No rumors and no YouTube videos to feed my basketball obsession is not a good thing. The NBA needs to hurry through the rest of the season…

Anyone have any good ideas?

I had a minute to sit down and chat with the NBA today about the upcoming playoff picture. He definitely had some interesting things to say!

Le Basketbawl: So…NBA, how are things?

NBA: Things are fan-doodly-tastic LB thanks for asking!

LB: Things are fan-doo…err, what? How come?

NBA: Well our trade deadline frenzy just went down and the Lakers just got better! Plus, the Celtics are leading a pathetic Eastern Conference and isn’t that all anyone cares about?

LB: (I sure as hell don’t!) But NBA, aren’t you looking for some parody league-wide once the playoffs start? I mean, come on now, the east was so pathetic last year that LeBron carried his B-list Cavaliers all the way to the NBA Finals only to get swept looking like a bunch of D-Leaguers. Is that really what you want?

NBA: Actually, LeBron and his new B-list crew don’t stand a chance this year! I’ve worked my off-season magic to bring the Celtics back from hell and they should have enough All-Stars now to run through the east and take on the Lakers for the NBA Championship. However, I do have to figure out a way to make sure the Pistons lose early as we all know they could possibly take down Boston. I could always lower the technical foul rule or you never know, maybe we’ll have a Tim Donaghy sighting! Is he in the slammer yet? I’ll have to get Stern on this one.

LB: Wow, already ensuring us of a Lakers vs. Celtics Finals huh? There are a lot of great teams out west besides the Lakers don’t you think?

NBA: If there are, I could care less! Wasn’t it obvious enough with that lopsided Gasol trade what I’ve been trying to do? Once we get the Lakers and Celtics in the Finals, I’ll have so much worthless media hype to flood your TV’s and newspapers for a solid month! And that reminds me, did I fine Greg Popovich for those comments he made publicly about the Laker/Memphis trade?

LB: Not that I’m aware of and I’m not sure that’s necessary. So you really are prepared to utilize the “bench rule” or something else to keep teams like the Suns or Pistons out of the NBA Finals again?

NBA: Of course! The bench rule is my favorite of all time! I’m not sure you could find me another league rule in any sport as absurd as that one. And wow is it fun to use and really irritate the hell out of everyone! Sternie, my little puppet, plays it to perfection!

LB: So the Lakers vs. the Celtics is what I should be expecting this year?

NBA: Damn right LB. Haven’t you noticed all of the articles starting to pour in about the NBA being back? Well once I get my way for the championship, I’ll really be back! “Kobe vs. KG!” “L.A. vs. Boston!” “Bird vs. Magic!” ESPN Classic will have a hay day with this one! Ratings will soar! And don’t forget Outside the Lines! Bob Ley you better get to work son!

LB: You really are sounding pathetic NBA…

NBA: Not as pathetic as that MLB/Roger Clemens saga! Until we have players’ wives HGH’ing their buttocks while comparing augmentations, we’ll be just fine.

LB: Damn…you’re absolutely right! I love this game.

Chalk another one up Mr. Kemp!

Check out this sick dunk by Hermiston High Bulldog JJ Ross in a game against Summit High team last month. This is in OREGON people!