It’s time for my boy Ray Ray to get out of that damn slump. I may not be the biggest Celtics fan, in fact I can’t stand ’em, but I do love Ray Allen. So smooth, so silky, and so sexy! Woo! I hate seeing him struggle like this and I thought I could help out with a nice list of ideas to jump him right out of this nasty little slide.
11. Remind him that he was once Jesus which allowed him to sleep with a young and sassy Rosario Dawson.
10. Remind him to read the Celtics Blog!
9. Remind him that he was #4 on our Pretty Boy List, which is a damn honor.
8. Remind him that just 2 years ago, he hit 269 threes! Wow.
7. Remind him that a skinny #32 with a face mask on the other team actually WON a championship with UConn.
6. Remind him that the owner of that shoe company that sponsors him managed to win 3 titles after the age of 33, so age should not be an excuse.
5. Remind him that shooting jumpers before the game with his shirt off will not help. (Did anyone else see that?)
4. Remind him that the “luck of the irish” can happen by rubbing Doc Rivers belly.
3. Remind him of that some people confuse Allen Ray for him. That should irritate the hell out of him.
2. Remind him that 54 points in a game was just a few years ago.
1. Oh lord…and remind him that he made this video for TNT…about the fundamentals of jump shooting.
Let’s get it together Ray! Your boys squeaked one out tonight, but they’ll need you the rest of the way damnit!