10 Reasons: Kevin Garnett Pounds the Hell out of Himself


I’m sure you’ve all noticed that Kevin Garnett continually pounds the hell out of his chest after a big play, momentum swing, or to just get his team jacked up and frankly, it’s obnoxious as hell. The chest pound usually includes puckered lips and his signature evil eyes which of course makes it that much more inescapable.

So as we watched him whack away during the NBA Finals with the potential to break a sternum, we asked ourselves solemnly, “Why KG? Why do continue to beat yourself in a way that makes Sasha Headbandcich seem less obnoxious? Why sir? Why must you give us a reason to start discrediting everything you’ve done in your illustrious career? Why must you make us talk like the annoying preacher kid from ‘There Will Be Blood’?”

This is what we could come up with:

10. After spending 12 years with the T-Wolves he has to make sure his heart is still beating. Fortunately, it is!


9. He’s really excited that his goatee is slightly better than Paul Pierce’s.

8. He’s just reminding us of his starring role in the smash hit Super Mario Brothers.


7. Because it’s the only way to get away with wearing these bad sweaters.


6. Because pulling your team’s name up from your jersey is even more obnoxious.


5. It’s his way of saying, “Danny Ainge, you da man! Now let me choke you!”


4. Because he has to live up to hits like these.

3. He’s making up for sideways visors and Stephon Marbury.


2. To play with that kind of passion and heart, he’s got to have a way to keep his heart from bursting out.

1. After 20,378 points, 11,197 rebounds, 4,390 assists, 1,665 blocks, 1,382 steals, 37,873 minutes, and 998 games…he has finally won that trophy.

10 Comments

  1. Good stuff!

    Reply
  2. oh i get it. you are a laker fan.

    stupid hater. he’s been doing it for years in minny. now ppl have a problem with it, 13 long years later?

    i’m a pistons fan. dude burned us. but i’m not some bitter fan about it.

    that soft as gasol needs to watch garnett. figure out a way to pump up his team, cuz what kg’s doing is firing up the celtics.

    wish sheed acted more like kg instead of yelling at refs. maybe one day his field goal percentage as a big man will go from 43% to 52% like KG – a real big man.

    haters!

    Reply
  3. I love anonymous haters.

    I also love ignorant assumptions coming out of Detroit.

    Reply
  4. ignorant ass assumptions?

    kg just got almost every piston starter to be on the block.

    he flat out embarrassed my man sheed so badly, timmy D would be proud.

    flip saunders is now fired after that series.

    ignorant ass assumptions? detroit is done! every real piston fan knows it.

    if you believe kg fakes it, than i guess he’s been doing it every year for 82 games going on 14 seasons, practices, olympics, all star games. yeesh. i didn’t realize he’s that good of an actor.

    if i have to see another person praise tim duncan for being classy while kg is ghetto…get on someone else to harp on.

    ppl hating on kg like he raped a girl like kobe byrant lately!

    Reply
  5. Yes ignorant assumptions.

    By actually reading the entire post, you would have noticed that not once did I ever discredit anything KG has ever done on the court. In fact, the post is actually praising him in almost every shape and form while throwing in some fun.

    Also understand that the term “thug” was something you came up with. I’m also not sure where the term “fake” came from as the post points out everything that KG does really well.

    You assumed that I was a Lakers fan. You also assumed that I was “hating” on KG. You then assumed that I cared about Tim Duncan when in fact he is my least favorite player in the entire league.

    The only negative point made in the entire post was the fact that his chest pounding is probably the most obnoxious thing on the planet. Which it is.

    I’m not actually sure why I’m responding to this. And yes, your assumptions are completely ignorant.

    And I don’t care about the Pistons as they have nothing to do with this conversation. Again, something you threw in that was irrelevant.

    Reply
  6. that was a kg hate post kellex.

    how can it not come off like that?

    look, i’m not a kg fan. but you just came off as a kg hater.

    when you say his chest bumping is annoying, you are implying that he is fake basically.

    thats all i hear. its like espn analysts are for the first time in 14 years actually watching kg. i’m sick off ppl praising fake hustlers, while a guy with great passion who plays the game the right way is criticized.

    btw, if you have ever hit your chest like kg has, you know he can’t fake that. it hurts as hell.

    look at your post. you made fun of almost every thing about him. 10 different things about him.

    its been linked to a bunch of sites, and everyone else seems to think you are putting him on blast.

    inference. look it up.

    and i’m not some ignorant piston fan. kg basically, with his performance put a whole starting lineup on the block. and helped a whole coaching staff out of jobs.

    it depresses me really. but if you can’t see your hate filled post about kg, fine.

    i’m not looking for a flame war though.

    Reply
  7. At this point, I have nothing more to add. If you can’t understand the post and continue to put words into my mouth then I have no reason to respond.

    Reply
  8. Definition of FAKE – Having a false or misleading appearance; fraudulent; one that is not authentic or genuine; a sham.
    Definition of ANNOYING – Causing vexation or irritation; troublesome.

    Maybe you should check the definitions before writing about something you obviously don’t know about. We hope you can climb out of that sad hole of depression we put you in. boo hoo

    Reply
  9. to the piston fan – i sorta get what you are getting at

    but at the same time, there were some great compliments thrown at kg – for instance – all his career achievements which were listed at the end.

    and hey piston fan- they aren’t totally done as a team. if they keep some of their core, they’ll be fine.

    oh and kg has gotten flip fired more than once. this year and back in 2005 i think after sota missed the playoffs, even though i think they had a winning record that year.

    but i sorta get your hate for the kellex. just about every blog, espn analysts were to busy sucking the lakers cocks to realize what a soft ass team they were.

    once the celtics beat the pistons, twice on the road, i knew the regular season celtics were back. the one that blew the soft as lakers out twice in the regular season – with a healhy bynum – and adding a soft gasol would make it easier really. kg always hands it to gasol. gasol just about admitted it in an interview.

    btw i wish they gave out the mvp for the whole playoffs series. cuz then kg would have gotten the award. and last year, tim duncan would have as well. i love paul pierce, but dude didn’t show up until way late into the second round! plus ray shot a better percentage in the finals.

    oh well!

    Reply

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